identity crisis

Last week was a bit of a milestone for me, as it would have been the week I returned to work after maternity leave. As it is I am no longer gainfully employed having been made redundant so last week was when I properly became a ‘stay at home’ mum. On the whole I am glad about the redundancy as it would have been tricky to combine commuting to London with school and nursery pick-ups and it has given me the time (and cash) to complete my MBA. On the downside though I have had to reconsider my identity as work has always been such a huge part of my sense of self and place in the world. So for a while I felt a bit lost and a bit unsure as to how to describe myself. As with any change I have come through the different stages – denial, anger etc and (I think) I have finally reached the nirvana of acceptance. It still says internal communications on my Linked In profile as I feel I should have a ‘professional headline’ and I keep up with blogs and Twitter so that I still feel in the loop. It’s hardest when I see roles advertised that I think I would be good at and enjoy – I am usually tempted to apply just to see but luckily the effort of doing the applications stops me.

I know this is only for a short period of time in the grand scheme of things (the money will run out sooner rather than later) and I should just get on and enjoy it rather than worry. I love the time I get to spend with my children (apart from the temper tantrums) and know a lot of people would swap with me in a second. So I shall say it loud and say it proud “I am a stay at home” – just don’t have a go at me if I occasionally have a moan about missing the world of work.

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